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Fear in Leadership
Photo Credit: By LeAnn Leagans
“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”
– Bill Cosby
As a leader, fear can often be a motivator to help us grow. You have a choice as a leader – you can stay where you are and let fear get the best of you or you can overcome fear and do new things you have never imagined possible. When you choose the first option, you often look back and wonder what could have been and end up living a life of regret. Choosing the second option may be difficult, but in the long run it’s worth it.
What steps can you take to help overcome fear as a leader?
- Surround yourself with like-minded people who will encourage and cheer you on in times of fear.
- Focus on what will happen once you make it past the fear, not the process of going through the fear itself.
- Force yourself to do it – make yourself think there are no other options.
I experienced this first hand over the weekend. I had the amazing experience of going on a leadership retreat at Callaway Gardens. During lunch they announced that everyone needed to look under their chair as one table would win a prize. Our table ended up winning the prize and it was free tickets to the ropes course and zip lines at the gardens. One minor problem – I am terrified of heights! Even though we were harnessed in, I was still afraid that I was going to fall and seriously injure myself. I had twelve other people on the course with me that helped encourage me and let me know that not only was I going to be okay, but I was going to be able to complete the course and look back on the experience as a major accomplishment.
How do you overcome fear as a leader?
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Choose “Chosen” As Your Next Read
Photo Courtesy of Ebay
Ted Dekker is one of my favorite authors. I first discovered him by reading his book Thr3e and was immediately hooked. Several of his books have the good versus evil vibe to them and Chosen is no different. The first book in the young adult series introduces us to Johnis, Billos, Darsal, and Silvie – four teenagers who are chosen to lead the Forest Guard against the evil forces of the Horde. Thomas Hunter (supreme commander of the Forest Guard) selects these four individuals who are 16-18 years of age to find and bring back to him four large catalina cacti to prove they are worthy of him choosing them.
Along the journey they run into several roadblocks created by the Horde and the Shataiki bats. Johnis learns that he is responsible for finding the seven books of history and convincing his other three companions to help him with the task of which Thomas Hunter did not inform him. Will they return with the cacti? Will they find all seven books of history before it is too late? There are six books in this particular series (The Lost Books – consisting of Chosen, Infidel, Renegade, Chaos, Lunatic, and Elyon), but they are also a of part of the Circle Trilogy (Black, Red, and White). The Lost Book series fills in the fifteen missing years between Black and Red, but you can read either series before the other.
The book was an easy read that I thoroughly enjoyed. There is a little violence, but there is no foul language so it would be a good book for parents to let their preteen or teen read. It has sort of Lord of The Rings meets The Matrix kind of feel to it. I highly recommend Chosen and I’m looking forward to reading further into the series.
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Maybe She Did Just Need A Friend – RIP Amy Winehouse
Amy Jade Winehouse (1983 - 2011)
“I don’t ever wanna drink again. I just, ooh, I just need a friend.”
– Amy Winehouse from Rehab
By now, you have probably heard that singer Amy Winehouse was found dead in her London home on Saturday, July 23. What is so sad about this tragedy is that Winehouse has become a part of what some call the “27 Club” (a group of musicians who all died at the age of 27) – this group includes Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Kurt Cobain. It is widely known that Winehouse had a problem with drugs and alcohol. What caused her to turn to these substances? One will never really know.
Some say she was lonely, so maybe she did truly need a friend like her song said. The songstress had a strong amount of influence on her fans and the public, whether it be through her music or her fashion (she single-handedly brought back the beehive hairdo). Her album sales have sky rocketed since her passing. Part of me wonders if she really had any friends – I’m not talking these “yes man” people who tell you what you want to hear…I’m talking about true friends who tell you what you need to hear whether you want to hear it or not. This is not an excuse for her bad choices, but if she possibly had someone in her life to encourage her to make the right decisions she might still be with us today.
Her personal problems had a tendency to overshadow her music. She was a very talented individual who has influenced artists like Adele and Duffy. Watch the video below of Winehouse’s first appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman.
Photo Credit: By Fionn Kidney
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Waiting Is The Hardest Part…
This is something I wrote back in October 2007, but it is still very pertinent today. Enjoy!
Wait, wait on You. My hands are tied and I’m broken in two. No sense trying to wear Your crown. You are King so I lay it down. Wait, wait on You. My will is dead and I’m black and blue. You know best and You are true. Give me strength to trust in You and wait.
-“Wait” written and performed by Todd Fields on his 2000 release, Now For Then
Waiting is never easy!
In a world of minute rice, instant coffee, and microwave popcorn we are called to “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” (Psalm 37:7a) More often than not, I have found myself crying out to God, “Why?!?!” Patience is not (and will probably never be) one of my spiritual gifts. I want things to happen in my timing or not at all… I hate to wait.
Isaiah 30:18 tells us, “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!” We can be blessed if we are willing to wait, but I have to admit that quite frequently I would rather see things resolved immediately than to have to wait for a blessing that may not happen when I think it should. When I question God about the “hold-ups” that occur in my life, I feel like Jesus is answering me directly (instead of His disciples) in Matthew 17:20a when He replies, “Because you have so little faith.”
When I examine my faith, I have to know that true faith is “…being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (Hebrews 11:1) If I can see something, I know I can depend on it and place my faith in it. When it comes to an unseen God, sometimes (more than I would like to admit) I am very reluctant with my faith. Often it takes Him showing me that “We live by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7) Other times it takes Him giving me what I want like a spoiled brat so that I can truly see that I do not know what is best for me after all.
Every time I hear James 1:4 “Perseverance must finish its work so that you can be mature and complete, not lacking anything,” I am reminded of the road trips and vacations that I took with my family as a child. Between me and my two younger brothers, one of us would frequently be asking, “Are we there yet?” I often find myself asking God the same thing. “Am I there yet? Am I complete? Have I matured? Have I persevered enough?”
Just like the family road trips, the destination gives us something to look forward to upon our arrival. “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:31) Renewed strength, the ability to run and not get weary, and the ability to walk and not faint are far better than a week at the beach, the mountains, or even Grandma’s house! (Sorry Grandma!) I challenge you (as well as myself) to continue to ask Him “Am I there yet?” and if the answer is “No” then how are you preparing yourself for the time Christ brings you there?
Photo Credit: By Josep Ma. Rosell
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Who Am I Again?!
How do you determine your true identity?
The other night I had a strange dream. In my dream, I was in the hospital with severe amnesia. There were people everywhere in my hospital room and I would ask each of them the same question. “Who am I?!” The first person responded with “You are an older brother – you have two younger brothers.” The next person responded, “You are an uncle – you have two nieces and two nephews.” One of the last people I asked told me, “You are a blogger – you write a blog.” I was really frustrated because no one really answered my question.
This dream was very telling, because I am going through a “loss of identity” period of sorts in my life right now. Men tend to find their identity in their job. When you first meet someone, they typically ask what you do for a living. It’s been a rough time because in this sense, I don’t really feel like I know who I am any more. When you go through a period like this in your life, you tend to start comparing yourself to others in a negative light – “Why can’t I look more like <insert person’s name here>?!” or “Why can’t I be more successful like <insert person’s name here>?!” This can be a dangerous path as we are unique individuals and no one else should be seen as our measuring stick as to who we should be or what we should do.
Have you ever gone through a period like this? What did you do to get out of it?
Photo credit: By SMJJP
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Rejecting Rejection
Rejections stinks!
When most people hear the word “reject” they think of the negative – unfit, not up to a certain standard, not good enough, or something with problems. Rejection comes in many forms, but most people must deal with it some time during their life. More often than not, you hear about people experiencing rejection in relationships or when looking for a job. No matter how you define it, rejection stinks.
If you are looking for a job, it can be hard not to take rejection personally. You send out resumes, talk to recruiters, go on interviews, and then play the “waiting game.” Those lucky enough to get a letter or e-mail from a company receive the “thank you for interest in our company, but we have decided to go with other candidates at this time.” How do you keep from asking yourself if it had anything to do with you personally? Insecurities can hit full force if you let them, but remember it might not even be you.
A while back, I asked out a girl in whom I was interested. She turned me down. It was a painful time where I kept questioning why she said no. Was it me? Was it her? Was it bad timing? Not only was I driving myself crazy asking questions, but I was asking one of my good friends these same questions driving him crazy as well.
I guess the real question is does it make any difference if you know why you were rejected? What would you do with this information? Will you dwell on it or will you use it to improve yourself?
Photo Credit: By comedy_nose
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Leadership Elements
Last Thursday, I completed a four week workshop on leadership called “Leadership Elements.” (Thank you Mark Shull for recommending it!) Each of the four weeks focused on a different topic regarding being a leader. What is so great about this information is it can be used in various different environments – in the work place, at church, or even within your group of friends. Here are just a few of the “take-aways” that I learned.
- Influence, not position is what allows us to lead people.
- Influence is always in motion.
- Fair or unfair, we are often judged on the perception of our leadership, not the reality of our leadership.
- Influence comes from who you are, not just what you do.
- Leadership begins with character and ends with influence.
- Competence might make you a leader, but character gives you influence.
- People might not always listen, but they never fail to imitate.
- If you don’t know where you are, you can’t get from there to where you need to be.
- Self-awareness helps prevent hypocrisy.
- You can’t lead others past where you are.
- Self-awareness leads to compassion for others.
- A person who doesn’t have an awareness of their shortcomings comes across as pity.
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Why I Do What I Do
Writing is one of my passions.
Recently, several people have asked me what exactly it means to be an Online Content Manager. My job consisted of writing original content for the blogs of about 30 apartment complexes. I would write on anything including attractions in the surrounding area, upcoming concerts and events, and general apartment living posts. All of the posts had to be connected in some way to the respective apartment property.
I love writing because it allows me to be creative and to share with others information I’ve learned or that I currently know regarding any given topic. You can share your thoughts and let others know what is on your mind. It’s also a great way to help clear your mind of any stress – when you put pen to paper (or in this case fingers to keyboard) it’s like a part of you flows out of the words that come out on the screen. Reading is another thing I enjoy and it also helps me expand on my writing skills when I see how others write.
To give you a better idea of what I did at my last job, here are some examples of blog posts I wrote.
- Playing In Traffic Has Never Been So Much Fun!
- Dragon Con Comes To Atlanta
- Atlanta Food Bank Serving The Community
Photo Credit: By Kristian D.
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Scott Couey 