Home > Life > “Just Say No!” to Tank Tops and Chest Hair

“Just Say No!” to Tank Tops and Chest Hair

Please don't wear a tank top if you're this hairy!

Please don’t wear a tank top if you’re this hairy!

I’ll be the first to admit that I may not be the best person to tell others what to wear or not wear (there is a picture of me as a child wearing Sesame Street corduroy overalls that will be further proof of that statement). Last night, I was having dinner with a couple of friends at a local restaurant and in walked a group of what could only be described as hipster college students. One guy stood out in particular. He was probably in his early 20’s and had a full beard, but that wasn’t what you immediately saw. This guy had a good bit of chest hair and was wearing a tank top. When I say he had a “good bit of chest hair,” I mean it looked like he could have been part ape.

If you’re that hairy, why would you even consider wearing a tank top out to eat? When I saw him (okay, the chest hair)…it made me think of a quote from the movie DodgeBall. Chest hair that is long enough to braid should be the first sign that maybe a tank top just isn’t for you! Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against chest hair (I have a lot of it myself) but you should really think about how you look when you go out in public. I kept thinking “What if some of his chest hair ends up in his food?!?!” GROSS!

Maybe they should offer a college class for us guys – “What You Should/Should Not Wear 101!” I know I could have benefited from it earlier in life (and probably even at times now…female friends have been a blessing for this straight guy when it comes to my clothes). If your chest hair resembles that of Tom Selleck or Steve Guttenburg, maybe you should think twice before you consider going out in public wearing a tank top. You’ll be doing us all a favor (plus you won’t get chest hair in your food!).

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