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The Objectification of the Male Species

More often than not, Men are bombarded with the "perfect" image.

Men are often bombarded with the “perfect” image.

Something has been on my mind lately. Women (specifically single women) I am posing these thoughts to you. I’ve always been taught that you don’t treat women as objects…they are people with feelings and of great value. Women comment about how men can be jerks because of the way they look at and treat women. My issue is these same women will turn around and treat men the same way they don’t want to be treated. Granted, this is not ALL women.

What gets me is these women (Christian women mind you) will go see movies like Magic Mike and describe in great detail their attraction to these Hollywood men who look like a Greek god. Then they complain about not being able to find a Godly man when they have set these unrealistic expectations that no man can ever meet. Society has jumped on this notion and uses it to promote everything from salad dressing to diet sodas.

We often hear about women dealing with self-image issues due to things men have said or done, but women don’t realize that men deal with these same type of issues as well. Did you know that 10-15% of those who suffer from anorexia or bulimia are male? Also men are less likely to seek treatment for anorexia or bulimia due to the perception that they are “woman’s diseases.” It may be hard to believe, but at times men struggle with self-image more than women. As men, it’s not really about how we see ourselves, but how we perceive others may see us.

Single guys like myself who are trying to live a Godly life get easily discouraged by all of this because we don’t look like Ryan Gosling, Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, or whatever “perfect” celebrity man women are crazy over at the moment. How can we compete with that? We can’t, so more often than not we don’t even try.

Below are two videos that I’ve seen recently that are further proof of this. The first video is for Kraft’s Zesty Italian salad dressing featuring an attractive man who ends up shirtless (I’m confused on what this has to do with salad dressing). The second video is a campaign for Men’s Wearhouse called “Give The Suit Off Your Back” which is encouraging men to bring in their slightly worn suits to donate to homeless men. The purpose is great, but the delivery is just not right — buff, shirtless men in neckties and their boxers standing on the street corner with women practically drooling over them.

How can we retrain society to prevent these issues for men in the future?

Photo Credit: By ed and eddie

Saying Goodbye to the Original Ragamuffin

April 14, 2013 1 comment
Meeting Brennan Manning.

Meeting Brennan Manning.

September of 2008, I had the awesome opportunity to meet Brennan Manning. He was speaking at the NPCC Single’s Labor Day Retreat. Mr. Manning was a very meek individual who truly loved God. If you had seen him, he looked like any other senior adult who could have been someone’s grandfather. He shared with us his testimony – a story of alcoholism, being a priest, homelessness, and hitting rock bottom.

What I loved so much about Mr. Manning was after he spoke, we were given the opportunity to meet him. I asked him if I could have my picture taken with him and his response was “Why would you want your picture taken with me? I’m no one special. God is the one who did it all through me.” I was floored by his humbleness and in talking with him further, I knew that God had truly used this man to further His kingdom. He also signed my copy of The Ragamuffin Gospel with simply “In Abba’s Embrace – Brennan.”

As someone who loves to write, I’ve had the amazing opportunity to meet two of the authors who have had a huge impact on my life (Brennan Manning and Donald Miller) and both interactions left me loving these two authors even more than I did prior to the encounters. I was saddened to hear that Brennan Manning passed away last week. In memory of Mr. Manning, I wanted to share a few quotes from The Ragamuffin Gospel that really blessed me.

“The Kingdom is not an exclusive, well-trimmed suburb with snobbish rules about who can live there. No, it is for a larger, homelier, less self-conscious cast of people who understand they are sinners because they experienced the yaw and pitch of moral struggle.”

“God not only loves me as I am, but also knows me as I am. Because of this I don’t need to apply spiritual cosmetics to make myself presentable to Him. I can accept ownership of my poverty and powerlessness and neediness.”

“Over the years I’ve seen Christians shaping God in their own image — in each case a dreadfully small God.”

“The danger with our good works, spiritual investments, and all the rest of it is that we can construct a picture of ourselves in which we situate our self-worth. Complacency in ourselves then replaces sheer delight in God’s unconditional love. Our doing becomes the very undoing of the ragamuffin gospel.”

Real Life or Movie?

March 24, 2013 Leave a comment
What's left of my SUV

What is left of my SUV

Have you ever had something happen to you that you look back on in hindsight and it felt like it was something that could have been pulled straight from a movie? I had this experience last week and it seemed so surreal! I was driving home from work, like any other day. I got about half way home and noticed that there was smoke coming from underneath the hood of my SUV. I had this gut feeling (which I know beyond the shadow of a doubt was God) telling me that I needed to pull my SUV over and get it out of the road.

I was able to pull over in this gas station parking lot (far away from the gas pumps) and I decided to just sit for a few minutes and let the smoke dissipate. While waiting, I happened to look over to the left and noticed a couple of people screaming something. I couldn’t understand what they were saying so I opened my door. It turns out they were screaming at me – “Get out!! Your SUV is on fire!!” I grabbed my stuff and got as far away as I possibly could. Not five minutes later, my SUV went up in flames. At the time, I was shaking so badly when I had the realization that I could’ve been in the SUV when it caught fire. God was definitely looking out for me!

One of the merchants of a nearby store called 911 for me and the fire department was there in a few short minutes. They hosed down my SUV and it was no longer recognizable. Fortunately, neither I nor anyone else was injured as a result of the fire (I was the only one in my SUV). A tow truck came and took what remained of my SUV to their lot and I spoke with the fire chief about what I need to do in order to file a claim with my insurance company.

It was like something straight out of the movies – seeing a vehicle go up in flames in an action movie. I was not able to sleep for the first few nights as I kept having these visions of being stuck in the SUV, not being able to get out as it was engulfed in flames. Last night, I took a couple of Benadryl and went to bed around 12:00 AM and didn’t wake up until almost 2:00 PM.

My youngest brother took several pictures of the remains of my SUV (in case my insurance company needed them). Below are just a few of the pictures.

Scott-SUV Scott-SUV Scott-SUV

2012’s Top 10 Blog Posts

January 5, 2013 Leave a comment
2012

The Top 10 of 2012!

I can’t believe 2012 has already come and gone! The first 3/4th of the year was not that great for me, but the final 1/4th completely turned that around when I finally got a job after being without one for almost 16 months. I am very excited about what 2013 brings and am looking forward to the new year! As one last reminder of 2012, here are my top 10 blog posts from last year. May 2013 bring blessings beyond your wildest imagination!

10) Really Church?!

9) Leaders And The Leaders Who Lead Them

8) When The Enemy Attacks

7) Strange Interview Questions

6) Help Me Raise Support For My Brazil Mission Trip

5) Introverts Unite (Or Not)…

4) Disney Kids Go Wild!

3) Just The Facts – Londrina, Brazil Edition

2) The Finder – The Battle Continues

1) Save The Finder!

See what my top 10 posts were from 2011.

His Timing, Not Mine

October 12, 2012 Leave a comment
Wrist Watch

HIS timing is perfect!

Music is an integral part of my life. I listen to just about any and every kind of music (although I just can’t get into country or southern gospel). Certain songs have had more significance in my life during a specific season. At church, from time to time, we sing Always by Kristian Stanfill. We sang it again last night at Night of Worship and it really spoke to me in a new way.

Oh, my God, He will not delay. My refuge and strength always. I will not fear, His promise is true. My God will come through always, always.

Up until recently, I was listening to the lyrics and thinking “God will not delay?! My God will come through always?! Yeah right! I don’t think so…He isn’t doing a thing in my situation.” I let my circumstances (being without a job for almost 16 months) determine my view of God’s movement (or lack there of in my mind). I couldn’t see who God truly was because I was blinded by what was going on around me.

Something happened on Wednesday of this week to change my view of the above lyrics. I had a job interview and later that day received (and accepted) a job offer. Thursday night when I went to Night of Worship, I focused intently on these lyrics and realized the error in my earlier mindset. I was using MY timeline to determine if God was delaying or coming through on HIS part. It felt like God was saying to me “You know…I was delaying until I thought you were ready. I wasn’t doing it to be mean or to hurt you in any way. Remember, I know what’s best for you!”

Watch the video below – may the lyrics of the song encourage you and help you remember God’s timing is perfect.

Photo Credit: By Blake Patterson

The Dreaded Question

October 3, 2012 7 comments
Dog shaking hands

“So what do you do for a living?”

Meeting new people can be stressful, especially when you are an introvert. It’s not the new people that bother me. What bothers me is that almost every time I meet someone new, I get asked the dreaded question – “What do you do for a living?” Since I am still unemployed, I loathe being asked this question. I don’t want to be seen as Debbie Downer and bring everyone down. How do you respond to this question without being seen as “that guy” and have everyone avoid you?

For men, we often associate our identity with what we do for a career. We want to be the provider (whether you are single or married with a family) and without a job we feel like a part of us is missing. There is a great article on Relevant magazine’s website that talks about not letting our occupation (or lack there of) determine our worth. Unfortunately it’s easier said than done not to go down the path of doubt and depression when it comes being unemployed.

In a recent conversation with a friend, he reminded me that I am so much more than any job. When people ask me this question, his suggested response was to tell people the truth – that I am serving through world missions, leading others in discipleship, and using this time to grow spiritually. I know that I will eventually have a job title as an answer to this question, but lately it’s been all about what to do or say in the mean time. At times like these, I wish life had a fast forward button so you could move on to the next stage of your life (while still attaining the lessons you learned or unlearned during the “fast forward period”).

If you have been without a job, how did you answer the dreaded question?

Photo Credit: By Shannon Yeh

Conversations of a Life Unexpected

September 26, 2012 Leave a comment
life tiles

Life never goes as we plan.

I will be celebrating (okay, maybe “celebrating” isn’t quite the right word…more like “dreading” right now) a milestone birthday in less than six months. Last night I was talking with my roommate about all of these things that I had hoped to have accomplished or done by this upcoming birthday. We all have our “bucket list” of things we want to do by a certain age and my list was more out of feeling a sense of entitlement (like I deserved these things) – “Why am I not married by now?” or “Why do I not have a house of my own now?” These ideas brought more questions, but no answers.

Donald Miller’s blog Storyline has a great post by Jeff Goins on this very topic – “When Life Doesn’t Turn Out the Way You Expect” and I felt like it was written specifically to me. Goins compares our life to that of a story where we are an important character, but not the MAIN character. God is the MAIN character in our story. Things happen in our life that we don’t plan – job loss, death of a friend or family member, car problems…and the list continues. We get frustrated because more often than not, we have no control over these situations.

One thing we are quick to forget – when we are on the other side of our respective situations, we will be stronger and a better person because of them.

How has your life turned out differently than you planned?

Photo Credit: By Wes Peck

Londrina – It’s Been Amazing!

September 7, 2012 Leave a comment
Guys at Bus Station

Adam and I with the Brazilian guys.

It’s hard to believe that tomorrow (Friday) will be our last night in Londrina. The time has gone by so fast as it seems like we just got here. Tuesday night we helped them create an environment called Muvuka (our definition was “A relevant gathering for building community” but in Portuguese it means “a mob or large gathering”). This night was much like our Singles Gatherings at Buckhead/North Point Community Church, but it was geared more towards their culture.

Wednesday we had an amazing Brazilian BBQ (steak marinated all day and then cooked on the grill along with several traditional Brazilian side items) at the home of our Brazilian friend Ely and his family. On Wednesday, we also spent some time sight seeing in Londrina and were able to see a really cool Catholic church that is a big part of Londrina’s history. Tonight (Thursday) we ate dinner at a restaurant in the bus station (believe me, it was MUCH better than it sounds) and then we enjoyed fresh squeezed fruit juices while we talked for hours with several of our new Brazilian friends. Tomorrow (Friday) is a holiday in Brazil (their equivalent of our July 4th) and Capella is having a picnic and doing baptisms (around 15 people will be getting baptized – including our new friend Carlos).

We will be leaving Londrina at 11:00 PM Friday via bus headed to Iguazu Falls where we will arrive around 7:00 AM on Saturday morning. We will spend all of Saturday at the falls and then will begin our travels back to Atlanta. It’s been an AWESOME time seeing God at work in our Brazilian friends and their church…it will be very hard to leave them tomorrow evening, but we will be keeping in contact with them via e-mail and Facebook. We hate to leave Londrina, but we are exciting about getting back home to see our friends and family.

Please continue to keep our team in your prayers as we travel to Igauzu Falls and then back to Atlanta.

Other Posts From Our Trip

Londrina Update – Monday

September 3, 2012 Leave a comment
Paulo, Kelen, and David

My Brazilian “nephew” and his parents.

Our luggage (okay, the luggage that belonged to the ladies – Adam and I were fortunate enough to have our luggage from day one of our time in Londrina) arrived bright and early on Sunday morning, so that was a great sense of relief. Last night we went to a Brazilian hamburger restaurant and ate entirely too much. I was playing with Pastor Paulo’s son David (he is 2 years old) last night at the restaurant by swinging him around in my arms like I do my nephew. He would laugh hysterically and when we were about to leave, he said something to me in Portuguese but I couldn’t understand him. I asked Pastor Paulo what David said and he replied “David said to you, ‘Goodbye my American Uncle!'” and that just made my heart melt!

This morning Saulo (the Singles Pastor) took us on walk around the lake and brought his dog Mona Lisa along with us. After another wonderful meal we met with the Singles environment volunteers and during our meeting we shared some American candy with them. Tomorrow evening we will be doing an event for the singles in the area and we can’t wait. We are having a great time in Londrina! The food is amazing, but we have been going constantly without much rest. It’s getting late, so we need to hit the sack.

Other Posts From Our Trip

 

We’re Here! 6 Americans Invade Londrina.

September 1, 2012 Leave a comment
Team Picture on 1st day at Capela

Team shot in front of Capela

We arrived in Londrina this morning around 1:30 AM their time (they are an hour ahead of us in Atlanta). I wish I could say all of our luggage arrived with us, but we weren’t as fortunate – out of 8 checked bags only 3 made it on the flight with us. The rest are supposed to be arriving at the hotel for us sometime later this afternoon. Two of our new friends at Capela met us at the airport and brought us to the hotel early this morning.

So far today we have had lunch with Pastor Paulo, his wife Kelen, their daughter Luiza, and their son David. Afterwards we went to the church to see them rehearse for Kid+ (their version of KidStuf) and helped them set up for the service tomorrow, as Paulo will be starting a new series called “Masquerade” (based on the book TrueFaced). This evening will be meeting with Saulo to find out more details about the Singles Environment, Lounge Capela and we will help them set up for the event. After Lounge Capella tonight, we will probably be grabbing supper with some of the singles from the church.

Tomorrow morning is Kid+ and then tomorrow evening is the service (the only have one service at this time). It has been great to see old faces and to meet new ones as well. Unfortunately most of us didn’t get to bed until around 3:00 AM so we are very tired from all of the traveling, but we wanted to let you know we have arrived safely. Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Other Posts From Our Trip

 

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