Archive
Leaders And The Leaders Who Lead Them
"On the next Jerry Springer..."
Reality television is one of my guilty pleasures. I don’t enjoy shows like Jersey Shore, The Bachelor, or Dance Moms. I am more prone to watch shows like American Idol (my top 3 this year are Phillip Phillips, Colton Dixon, and Elise Testone with either Phillip or Colton winning it all) or Big Brother. Jerry Springer is definitely the king of reality television. Show topics like “I’m In Love With My Brother’s Second Cousin’s Mailman” or “Humans Who Dress As Dogs & The People Who Love Them” (okay, maybe those aren’t really show topics, but you get the idea) seem to suck in viewers like The Hunger Games novels.
What if we put a positive spin on the Jerry Springer show? Ladies and gentleman, may I submit to you “Leaders And The Leaders Who Lead Them” on the next Springer! In all seriousness, a leader is only as a good as those who lead them. I am very fortunate to have three amazing leaders who invest in me and as a result have made me the leader that I am today.
1) Andy Stanley – I attend Buckhead Church (a campus of North Point Ministries) and Andy Stanley is the Senior Pastor of all of the campuses. Every Sunday, he preaches a sermon that I feel like was written specifically for me. There are so many things that I like about Andy, but one I can easily relate to – Andy will openly tell you that he is an “extroverted introvert” (as am I). He can easily speak to large groups of people, but when it comes to speaking with people one-on-one it is a little bit more difficult. He has to have downtime after speaking with individuals in order to process things. Having this same personality trait in common, I feel like I can connect better with him as the Senior Pastor.
2) Rodney Anderson – He is the Single’s Pastor at Buckhead Church. Rodney is only a couple of years younger than I am, but he has wisdom beyond his years. What I love about Rodney is he has a great memory. You can tell him about something that is happening in your life and six months later he will ask you about it with the same detail in which you originally told him. I was able to get to know Rodney better during our Singles Leadership retreat last year. Since I wasn’t working I was asked if I would be interested in helping them set up for the retreat. I rode to the retreat with Rodney and we were able to share our life stories and just had a great time getting to know one another. He is one person that I know I could definitely call about anything and he would make time to listen regardless of his schedule.
3) Mark Shull – He is the Director of Men’s Groups at Buckhead Church. Mark is just a couple of years older than I am. What I like about Mark is he tells it like it is…he doesn’t sugarcoat anything. He challenges me to think outside of the box as a small group leader. I was also able to get to know Mark better on the Singles Leadership retreat last year. He has two sons and I love hearing how he relates his relationship with his sons to his relationship with God. He has constantly checked in on me during my job search to see what God is teaching me through it all. I could definitely call Mark about anything as well.
As a leader, who is one leader that leads you and what have they taught you recently?
Photo Credit: By David Shankbone
Share this:
Follow The Leader?
This is something I recently found that I wrote back in 2001.
———————-
Adults, do you play follow the leader?
Follow the leader — what a great game for preschoolers. Now that I am much older, I look back at those days gone by and wonder what I really learned from this harmless little childhood game. How can I apply these “lessons learned” to my life in the here and now?
First I learned to let others dictate what I do. I do not have to think for myself; just follow the crowd. Do not question the leader’s abilities or his/her qualifications as the leader. Lastly, do whatever you can, at any cost, to become the leader. Wait a minute! Are we still talking about a childhood game or life in general? Makes you stop and wonder, does it not?
As we get older these “rules” are essential to our survival in life. Exodus 20:12a tells us, “Honor your father and mother…” and Romans 13:2 warns us, “…he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against who God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” How do we prevent mindless following but not rebel against authority and also honor our parents? Our parents and those in authority over us when we were children instilled in us morals, a sense of right and wrong and general social etiquette. This is especially true if your parents took you to church on a regular basis. Mom and dad were the ones to lay down the law for you. There was no question of what you should do; the question was “Do I do it or do I face the consequences of not doing it?” Our parents definitely had the previous experience of leading us from their mistakes that they learned and they would not knowingly lead our infantile minds astray.
Pastors are authority figures that we take for granted. We often sit in the pews Sunday after Sunday like a sponge soaking up what we are told without question. I have been very fortunate to have had two wonderful Pastors, one at my home church and one at the church where I currently attend. I consider both of these gentlemen to be great men of God. One thing I admire about both of them is they have both said (from their respective pulpit) “Do not just accept what I tell you. Look it up and research it on your own. I am human and may unintentionally lead you astray. Please hold me accountable to assure that what I speak is the one and only God inspired truth.” I have a great deal of respect for someone like that who openly admits his faults and his limits. Romans 10:17 says, “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” Notice it says “…through the word of Christ” and not “…through the word of the Pastor or Preacher.”
Matthew 16:24 tells us that life is not about us. “Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me” (emphasis mine). If we follow the ultimate Leader, things will work out in the end. Taking the focus off of Christ and placing it on ourselves can cause utter chaos and can lead others astray. 1 Timothy 4:16 “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.”
We will go through many times in our life where we question anything and everything. Make sure that your faith is your own and not your parents’, you Pastor’s, or anyone else’s. Questioning your faith makes you grow. Proverbs 14:15 informs us, “A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.” It is okay to play follow the leader, but make sure you are following the right Leader!
Photo Credit: By Ben Hoyt
Share this:
Psalm 40 and U2
"I waited patiently for the Lord..."
This afternoon I had a coffee meeting with a friend from church. Before I met with her, I had few minutes to spare and so I opened my Bible to Psalm 40. For some reason I just found I could relate more to this passage right now. As I shared with my friend over coffee, I do not really feel like I have anyone against me…but I do feel like I’ve been through the muck and mire when it comes to things in my life lately – job search, SUV issues, and some personal matters.
I love how The Message version of the Bible translates several verses in this passage:
Psalm 40:1-2 “I waited and waited and waited for God. At last He looked, finally He listened. He lifted me out of the ditch, pulled me from deep mud. He stood me up on a solid rock to make sure I wouldn’t slip.”
I honestly feel like I am still in that “waiting for God” stage most days. I know eventually He will lift me out of the circumstances with which I am dealing and put me in a safe place, but right now I feel like He is using those circumstances to help grow me and to teach me something.
Psalm 40:11-15 “Now God, don’t hold out on me, don’t hold back your passion. Your love and truth are all that keeps me together. When troubles ganged up on me, a mob of sins past counting, I was so swamped by guilt I couldn’t see my way clear. More guilt in my heart than hair on my head, so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out. Soften up, God, and intervene; hurry and get me some help, so those who are trying to kidnap my soul will be embarrassed and lose face, so anyone who gets a kick out of making me miserable will be heckled and disgraced, so those who pray for my ruin will be booed and jeered without mercy.”
In some ways I can related to David (the author of this passage). I do feel like I’m waiting for God to intervene and do something – and do it quickly. However, I do not feel like anyone is intentionally trying to make me miserable or that anyone is praying for my ruin. The only things that I feel like I’m facing are circumstances that are brought on by the devil (and not in a “the devil made me do it…he’s in everything that I see as negative” type of way, but I do believe he is alive and well and orchestrating things behind the scenes to trip us up and denounce our faith — “spiritual warfare” as it is often called) and I would love to see him embarrassed, lose face, heckled, disgraced, and a whole lot more!
Psalm 40:17 “Let those who know what You’re all about tell the world You’re great and not quitting. And me? I’m a mess. I’m nothing and have nothing: make something of me. You can do it, You’ve got what it takes — but God, don’t put it off.”
This is a great reminder that God is not finished with me (or any of us for that matter) yet! I agree 100% with David – I am a mess on my own, but through Christ I have the strength to do all things (Philippians 4:13).
Each time I read this passage, I immediately think of U2’s song “40.” Enjoy a live rendition of this song in the video below.
Photo Credit: By Chris Yarzab
Share this:
Take A Break – You Deserve It!
It's okay to take time to relax!
When life gets busy, other things have a tendency to fall by the wayside. What makes matters worse is we start feeling guilty as a result. It is okay to take time away from the people and things we love and enjoy. Returning to these things only reminds us how much we really appreciate them. Give yourself permission to take a break.
Some religions believe in what they call “Sabbath.” This is just dedicating time to yourself where you can turn off your phone, shut down the laptop, and just refocus for a day. If you don’t take this time, you can easily experience burn out and you will not be at your best in whatever you do – be it personally or professionally. How you spend this down time is up to you. I enjoy spending time with friends, listening to music, or reading something fun. Each person is different and how they “recharge their batteries” is just as unique.
I have several friends who work for a church and as result they are typically working on Sunday (when most people take their Sabbath). These friends usually have Friday off, so they make that their day of rest and refocus. It doesn’t matter when you do it, it just matters that you do it. Find time in your schedule that works best for you and permit yourself to just enjoy time away from your every day life.
Do you take a “Sabbath” day each week and if so, what do you do on that day?
Photo Credit: By lukey dargons
Share this:
Scars
This is something I recently found that I wrote back in 2001.
——————————————-
Do you have any scars?
Webster’s Dictionary defines a scar as, “a marring or disfiguring mark on anything; the lasting mental or emotional effects of suffering or anguish.” Scars have been given a negative connotation in our modern times. Contrary to popular belief, there are many positive aspects of scars.
A scar can be an identifying mark. If you ever meet me, look closely above my left eyebrow. For you will see a scar, a unique mark that distinguishes me from others. John 20:27-28 gives an example of Biblical proportions. “Then He said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.’ Thomas said ‘My Lord and my God!'” It was scars that allowed Thomas to identify the Son of God.
Our male species has a unique ritual of comparing scars. As strange as this may sound, it reveals yet another good thing about scars: they create a common bond. Isaiah 53:5 “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” We as Christians have the commonality of knowing that the scars, pain, and suffering that we cause Jesus with our sin brings us peace and healing through His sacrificial gift, Himself.
The most important thing is that scars tell a story. Mark 15:17-19 – “They put a purple robe on Him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on Him. And they began to call out to Him, ‘Hail, king of the Jews!’ Again and again they struck Him on the head with a staff and spit on Him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to Him.” But wait, it gets better! Matthew 27:35, 39, 41, & 44 – “When they had crucified Him, they divided up His clothes by casting lots… Those who passed by hurled insults at Him, shaking their heads… In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked Him… In the same way the robbers who were crucified with Him also heaped insults on Him.” Praise God the story did not end there. Matthew 28:6 – “He is not here; He is risen, just as He said.” The ultimate scars (physical, mental, and emotional) tell the ultimate story.
I once heard someone say, “God will not search us for medals. He will look for scars,” to which one of my best friends jokingly added “He’ll probably want to start with my knees!” The more I thought about what my friend jokingly said, the more I thought he was actually right. Wouldn’t it be awesome when we meet the Lord face to face, if He sees scars and rug burns from where we have been constantly on our knees in prayer and humbling ourselves daily before Him? I long to have that kind of relationship with my Maker. How about you? May we never look at scars the same way ever again!
Photo Credit: By Lenore Edman
Share this:
Being Genuinely Genuine
How genuine are you?
Three simple words that form one common question – “How are you?” We’ve all asked it of someone and have probably had it asked of us. At least twice this week I have had someone ask me this question. Before I could get a response out of my mouth, both individuals had already left. I’m not going to lie, this bothered me. Society has taught us that it is polite to ask this question, but how would Mrs. Manners or Dear Abby want us to respond to the answer?
I found myself pondering this exact question the other day. I asked a friend how they were doing only to hear a diatribe of a response on how their life was currently falling apart at the seams. Where do you draw the line of politely listening and writing the person off as being over dramatic? I started asking myself a question – have I ever been the one who felt like their life was in shambles? Have I ever voiced this to others when they asked how I was doing?
One thing I strive for in all my relationships is to be genuine. I want others to know they can honestly count on me in their time of need. The problem with trying to be “everything to everyone” is you tend to have the life drained out of you. Is it possible to be genuine without losing yourself?
Do you really listen to someone’s response when you ask them how they are doing?
Photo Credit: By Aidan Jones
Share this:
Don’t Give Up – It May Take Time
Never forget the factor of time.
Many things can frustrate a leader. When someone you are leading does not immediately understand or pick up the skills you are trying to teach them stress can result. Time is a factor that we do not often take into consideration when we lead. Different individuals learn things at different paces. Other times you may not see evidence of your efforts until much later in life and sometimes you might not even see results in your lifetime…you just have to trust that it will eventually happen.
I went to a memorial service for my friend and former youth group volunteer Paul last weekend. Several people shared stories of how he had been a major part of who they were today. One person shared how they had asked Paul how he always knew what to say or do and Paul’s response was “I don’t know. I just do or say what I feel like I’m supposed to and everything else falls into place.” As youth, I know Paul had to have his times of frustration when he was working with us, but he never showed it. What he didn’t get to see was the results of his leadership – at this memorial service there were youth group leaders, Men’s Bible study leaders, worship leaders, and others who live their faith through whatever job they may do on a daily basis. All of this from the impact of Paul on our lives.
My single men’s small group at church has started studying the parables of Jesus. This week we studied the Sower and the Seed. The concept of the story is a farmer plants seeds in different types of soil (rocky, thorny, shallow, and good) and he discovers different results with each type of soil. One commentary mentions that the parable could be considered an illustration for the disciples as a reminder that regardless of what circumstances may come their way, they should never give up or be discouraged in their endeavors as things will happen in the proper time.
What factors do you tend forget as a leader?
Photo Credit: By lucianvenutian
Share this:
Leadership and Laundry
Don't make leadership a reaction like doing laundry!
Today is laundry day! We have all been there at one time or another (especially the guys). You realize that you are down to only one or two pairs of clean underwear and it’s time to take action – otherwise you’ll be wearing your bathing suit as boxer shorts in a couple of days. As I was doing laundry today, I was thinking about how some times we lead like we do laundry.
For most of us, doing laundry is based on a reaction – “Oh no, I’m almost out of clean clothes!” As leaders we should always be aware of our relationships with those we lead as well as our influence on these individuals. They don’t need a leader right when their world is falling apart. Those you lead need to know from the start that you are in their corner and available for them at a moment’s notice. If you as a leader don’t communicate this to them verbally or through your actions, they are going to be less likely to come to you when tragedy does strike.
You can’t treat each load of laundry the same just as you can’t use the same leadership techniques on every individual you lead. If you put bleach in with dark clothes you will have a messed up load of laundry on your hands. Someone who is better equipped as an individual worker may need a little more encouragement when it comes to work in a team environment. When you accidentally leave a red sock in the dryer and put in a load of white clothes, you end up with a lot of pink. Individuals who may be a little more emotionally invested in their work are not going to take it well if you come at them full force telling them they have made a mistake – you have to handle the situation with a more tender touch.
In what ways have you discovered that you do your leadership like you do your laundry?
Photo Credit: By Celeste Lindell
Share this:
Overcoming The Typical
Photo Credit: By Amazon.com
Chances are we have all experienced what I like to call “Groundhog Day” syndrome. In the 1993 movie of the same name, a weatherman (played by Bill Murray) is forced to relive the same day over and over again. Does your daily routine sound like the following – wake up, go to work, come home from work, watch television, go to bed, and then repeat the next day? It can easily become monotonous.
Sunday morning at church, the worship band played the song “Typical” by MUTEMATH. (Make sure to check out the music video for the song as it is anything but “typical” – it was filmed backwards and the band learned the song backwards so they would appear to be singing it forward in the video.) Some of the lyrics speak to this very situation.
Cause I know there’s got to be another level
Somewhere closer to the other side
And I’m feeling like it’s now or never
Can I break the spell of the typical?
Because it’s dragging me down
I’d like to know about when
When does it all turn around?
Dictionary.com defines typical as “considered to be an example of some undesirable trait; conforming to a type.” In essence, typical is what we consider normal, average, or the usual. Some times we just do what society expects from us and nothing more. The typical can be what is robbing us from the phenomenal.
How do you avoid the typical in your life?
Share this:
6 Things I Learned In 365 Days
2011 - The Year of Learning
I am a big advocate of learning – if you’re not learning at least one new thing every day you need to reevaluate a few things. Learning enables growth mentally and it keeps you challenged. As I look back on 2011, to say I learned a lot would be a huge understatement. Here are just a few of the highlights of my lessons learned last year.
1) Saying “Goodbye” is never easy – Last year I had two influential people in my life pass away. My best friend Jennifer’s mom Jolene passed away in March and one of my former youth group volunteers, Paul Fife lost his life in December. Both Jolene and Paul had a huge impact on my life and their deaths were unexpected. It’s just a reminder to always let people in your life know you love and appreciate them, as you don’t know much longer they will be with you.
2) Visit things that remind you of your childhood often – In November, I went to see the movie The Muppets and was transported back to when I was a child. Hopefully the Muppets are back and here to stay.
3) How much I rely on my iPod – I had to replace my iPod in 2011 after three years of usage. The hard drive was corrupt and as a result it wouldn’t work. I was without a functional iPod for almost a month. I love my music and this was truly torture for me. I couldn’t go running or even relax at home with music.
4) Just because things don’t happen the way you think they should doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing – I learned this in several different situations last year. One of the main ways was in my job/career path. I lost my job at the end of June and I am still job hunting to this day. The cool thing is there were several things I would not have been able to do if I had a job at the time. I’ve been blessed with amazing friends, an awesome church, and a great small group that have all made what would have been a difficult time much more bearable.
5) It’s okay to take a break when working to accomplish your goals – I have been 13 months without a Diet Dr Pepper, so I thought I would try to do the same with just drinking water. I went almost 3 weeks and got sick – the taste of water made me nauseated so I had to try something else while I was trying to get over my intense sinus infection. I didn’t go back to sodas, but I did go back to sweet tea. My goal is to get back on track within the next few weeks with just drinking water since I am finally starting to get over being sick.
6) It’s okay to be single for a little while – I intentionally decided not to date anyone in 2011. It was nice to just have some “me time” and not have to worry about anyone else. Last year was not a good year for celebrity marriages: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries only lasted 72 days, Sinead O’Connor and Barry Herridge lasted only 18 days, and Katy Perry and Russell Brand lasted about a year. Relationships take work and you can’t just give up because it isn’t easy or convenient. Problems will occur that can’t be solved in 18-72 days. This time away from dating allowed me to refocus on how I could do my part in helping a relationship truly last.
What is one thing you learned in 2011?
Photo Credit: By Kathryn Greenhill
Share this:
Scott Couey 