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Leaders And The Leaders Who Lead Them
"On the next Jerry Springer..."
Reality television is one of my guilty pleasures. I don’t enjoy shows like Jersey Shore, The Bachelor, or Dance Moms. I am more prone to watch shows like American Idol (my top 3 this year are Phillip Phillips, Colton Dixon, and Elise Testone with either Phillip or Colton winning it all) or Big Brother. Jerry Springer is definitely the king of reality television. Show topics like “I’m In Love With My Brother’s Second Cousin’s Mailman” or “Humans Who Dress As Dogs & The People Who Love Them” (okay, maybe those aren’t really show topics, but you get the idea) seem to suck in viewers like The Hunger Games novels.
What if we put a positive spin on the Jerry Springer show? Ladies and gentleman, may I submit to you “Leaders And The Leaders Who Lead Them” on the next Springer! In all seriousness, a leader is only as a good as those who lead them. I am very fortunate to have three amazing leaders who invest in me and as a result have made me the leader that I am today.
1) Andy Stanley – I attend Buckhead Church (a campus of North Point Ministries) and Andy Stanley is the Senior Pastor of all of the campuses. Every Sunday, he preaches a sermon that I feel like was written specifically for me. There are so many things that I like about Andy, but one I can easily relate to – Andy will openly tell you that he is an “extroverted introvert” (as am I). He can easily speak to large groups of people, but when it comes to speaking with people one-on-one it is a little bit more difficult. He has to have downtime after speaking with individuals in order to process things. Having this same personality trait in common, I feel like I can connect better with him as the Senior Pastor.
2) Rodney Anderson – He is the Single’s Pastor at Buckhead Church. Rodney is only a couple of years younger than I am, but he has wisdom beyond his years. What I love about Rodney is he has a great memory. You can tell him about something that is happening in your life and six months later he will ask you about it with the same detail in which you originally told him. I was able to get to know Rodney better during our Singles Leadership retreat last year. Since I wasn’t working I was asked if I would be interested in helping them set up for the retreat. I rode to the retreat with Rodney and we were able to share our life stories and just had a great time getting to know one another. He is one person that I know I could definitely call about anything and he would make time to listen regardless of his schedule.
3) Mark Shull – He is the Director of Men’s Groups at Buckhead Church. Mark is just a couple of years older than I am. What I like about Mark is he tells it like it is…he doesn’t sugarcoat anything. He challenges me to think outside of the box as a small group leader. I was also able to get to know Mark better on the Singles Leadership retreat last year. He has two sons and I love hearing how he relates his relationship with his sons to his relationship with God. He has constantly checked in on me during my job search to see what God is teaching me through it all. I could definitely call Mark about anything as well.
As a leader, who is one leader that leads you and what have they taught you recently?
Photo Credit: By David Shankbone
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Follow The Leader?
This is something I recently found that I wrote back in 2001.
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Adults, do you play follow the leader?
Follow the leader — what a great game for preschoolers. Now that I am much older, I look back at those days gone by and wonder what I really learned from this harmless little childhood game. How can I apply these “lessons learned” to my life in the here and now?
First I learned to let others dictate what I do. I do not have to think for myself; just follow the crowd. Do not question the leader’s abilities or his/her qualifications as the leader. Lastly, do whatever you can, at any cost, to become the leader. Wait a minute! Are we still talking about a childhood game or life in general? Makes you stop and wonder, does it not?
As we get older these “rules” are essential to our survival in life. Exodus 20:12a tells us, “Honor your father and mother…” and Romans 13:2 warns us, “…he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against who God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.” How do we prevent mindless following but not rebel against authority and also honor our parents? Our parents and those in authority over us when we were children instilled in us morals, a sense of right and wrong and general social etiquette. This is especially true if your parents took you to church on a regular basis. Mom and dad were the ones to lay down the law for you. There was no question of what you should do; the question was “Do I do it or do I face the consequences of not doing it?” Our parents definitely had the previous experience of leading us from their mistakes that they learned and they would not knowingly lead our infantile minds astray.
Pastors are authority figures that we take for granted. We often sit in the pews Sunday after Sunday like a sponge soaking up what we are told without question. I have been very fortunate to have had two wonderful Pastors, one at my home church and one at the church where I currently attend. I consider both of these gentlemen to be great men of God. One thing I admire about both of them is they have both said (from their respective pulpit) “Do not just accept what I tell you. Look it up and research it on your own. I am human and may unintentionally lead you astray. Please hold me accountable to assure that what I speak is the one and only God inspired truth.” I have a great deal of respect for someone like that who openly admits his faults and his limits. Romans 10:17 says, “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” Notice it says “…through the word of Christ” and not “…through the word of the Pastor or Preacher.”
Matthew 16:24 tells us that life is not about us. “Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me” (emphasis mine). If we follow the ultimate Leader, things will work out in the end. Taking the focus off of Christ and placing it on ourselves can cause utter chaos and can lead others astray. 1 Timothy 4:16 “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.”
We will go through many times in our life where we question anything and everything. Make sure that your faith is your own and not your parents’, you Pastor’s, or anyone else’s. Questioning your faith makes you grow. Proverbs 14:15 informs us, “A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.” It is okay to play follow the leader, but make sure you are following the right Leader!
Photo Credit: By Ben Hoyt
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The Hunger Games – The Odds Are Definitely In Your Favor!
The adventures of Katniss Everdeen!
My oldest niece had been talking non-stop about a series of books that she had read. Not only had she read through all three books once, but she enjoyed them so much that she decided to read through them a second time. I decided that I need to check out this world of The Hunger Games created by author Suzanne Collins and I am glad that I did. This book is definitely a page turner that will keep you reading all hours of the night.
The story takes place in a futuristic world where North America has been replaced by the country of Panem. Surrounding the capital are twelve districts. Katniss Everdeen, a sixteen year old resident of District 12, shares through her eyes the experiences of the annual Hunger Games. Once a year each district selects (via raffle) a boy and a girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen to compete against the other twenty-two “tributes” in a televised battle to the death.
This year, Katniss’ younger sister Primrose is selected to participate in the games but she volunteers to take her younger sister’s place. Katniss is partnered with Peeta Mellark, a boy she knows from her school. In preparation for her role, Katniss must leave her sister, mother, and her male childhood friend Gale Hawthorne and hone her skills by working with former Hunger Games District 12 champion Haymitch Abernathy. The problem with Abernathy – there is rarely a time when he is not drunk and he convinces Peeta to pretend he is in love with Katniss in order to get sympathy from those watching the games. Katniss begins to have feelings for Peeta and later finds out about Abernathy’s plot.
What I really like about this book is that it’s not gory in nature – yes, there are battle wounds and yes, you are told what happened but it is not graphic. You are just told what you need to know in order to keep the story flowing. The Hunger Games is a great book for both guys and girls – for the guys you have the battle of the games and for the girls you have the opportunity for potential romance between either Katniss and Peeta or Katniss and Gale. (Don’t worry guys, the romance isn’t so overbearing that you get sick of it.) The characters (even the minor ones) are believable and you actually care about them. Katniss is a strong young woman who can carry her own, but you also see her vulnerable side when she deals with her potential relationship with Peeta.
I highly recommend this book and can’t wait to see how the book translated into the movie!
Photo Credit: By Wikipedia
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4 Things I’ve Recently Learned About Leadership
Four things for leaders to remember
The topic of leadership can come up in various ways in daily life. For me there have recently been four recurring leadership themes.
1) As a leader, you can’t force someone to follow you – You can provide the environment and the resources for someone, but you just can’t make them follow your lead. The decision has to come naturally from the follower in question otherwise it is not a true “followship” and they will resent you.
2) Leading with others can be a challenge, but it is not impossible – When you are not the only leader in an environment you have to learn to “play well with others.” You may have personality clashes, but you have to look at it as a positive experience. What can you learn from the other people with whom you are leading? What can you improve on or do differently having seen them do the same thing? Make it a point to listen and hear them out when it comes to their ideas of how to do things.
3) You cannot prepare for the unexpected – No matter how much you prepare, things will happen that you cannot control. People may not show up on time (or at all). Technology may not cooperate. You can only do the best you can given whatever circumstances may occur. Do not take it personally. It is also therapeutic to be able to step away from the situation and just laugh about it.
4) You need a sounding board – You need to have that person (or people) that you can go to and just share your ideas. It is also okay to have them there to listen to your frustrations as well. Keep in mind that not only should you be able to talk with them, but you also need to be willing to listen to them. They may be able to give you a new perspective you might not have previously considered.
What are some things you have learned recently about leadership?
Photo Credit: By Jukka Zitting
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Dragon Tattooed Girl – Don’t Believe The Hype
Don't believe the hype!
Have you ever finished reading a book and thought to yourself – “If I had known from the start what I know now after reading it, I probably wouldn’t have read it in the first place?” That is how I felt about the Stieg Larsson book “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.” The only thing I knew going in was that it was a book about a murder and there was a computer hacker involved in some way. First off, this book was by no means an easy read – the author is from Sweden and the spelling he used as well as the character names were alone enough to give me a headache. Add the fact that there was tons of foul language and a lot of sex (neither of which really added anything to the story in my opinion) and you end up with a book that just made me feel like I needed to take a bath after each read to get rid of the filthy feeling that consumed me.
The premise of the book starts with Mikael Blomkvist (a journalist) being sentenced for libel. Once he is set free, he is hired by Henrik Vanger, a well-to-do retired CEO, to write the history of the Vanger family. Blomkvist later finds out that writing the book is a cover, as Vanger really wants him to solve the mystery of the death of his great niece Harriet. When Blomkvist decides he needs a research assistant, he finds out that Vanger had used a young computer hacker outcast by the name of Lisbeth Salander (the dragon tattooed girl in the title of the book) to do a background check on him. Blomkvist is so impressed with what she found out about him that he hires Salander to help him solve the mystery. Salander has her own problems (including those with her legal guardian who rapes her multiple times). There are many twists and turns through out the book, but the characters feel very one dimensional to me. When Salander sleeps with Blomkvist and then discovers he only wants to see her as a friend and coworker – I just had no sympathy for her…I just wanted to shake her and say “How could you be so stupid to sleep with him?!”
I really wanted to like this book with all the hype that came with it, but I just couldn’t force myself to do it. I think the foundation of the story dealing with Harriet’s murder/disappearance is well written, but when you throw in all the side stories of Blomkvist sleeping with just about every female with a pulse…it just takes away from the story instead of adding to it. I originally wanted to see the American version of the movie when I started reading the book, but after the first couple of chapters I quickly decided against it. One thing for certain, based on this book alone I will not be reading the other two books in this series.
Photo Credit: By Amazon.com
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Strange Interview Questions
Interview questions can be weird.
Job interviews can be stressful – what to wear, what to say, and just trying to find out if it is a place where you would like to work. You can prepare like there is no tomorrow and still not feel ready. One of my biggest fears is that I will be asked a question that I will have no idea how to answer. I was reading an article the other day about unusual questions people have been asked on job interviews. I have definitely been asked my fair share of strange interview questions.
One interview question that stands out in my mind is “How do you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?” It was for a Quality Assurance position and I later found out they were looking for the most detailed answer I could possibly give them. I guess a question like that does kind of make sense given the context of the job for which I was interviewing. I think the most bizarre question I’ve been asked at an interview was “If you had to choose between being a ninja, pirate, or spaceman what would you be and why?” My response was a pirate, because they are able to work independently or in a team environment. I think this question was just about being creative with your response (plus I was told I was the only person they interviewed who said pirate…by the way I got the job).
The strangest question that I read about (but have not been personally asked) was “You have been shrunk down to the size of a peanut. Someone has accidentally put you in a blender. How do you escape?” I have three interviews coming up next week and I am praying that I do not get asked any questions like the last one.
What is the most unusual question you have been asked at a job interview?
Photo Credit: By Valerie Everett
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Take A Break – You Deserve It!
It's okay to take time to relax!
When life gets busy, other things have a tendency to fall by the wayside. What makes matters worse is we start feeling guilty as a result. It is okay to take time away from the people and things we love and enjoy. Returning to these things only reminds us how much we really appreciate them. Give yourself permission to take a break.
Some religions believe in what they call “Sabbath.” This is just dedicating time to yourself where you can turn off your phone, shut down the laptop, and just refocus for a day. If you don’t take this time, you can easily experience burn out and you will not be at your best in whatever you do – be it personally or professionally. How you spend this down time is up to you. I enjoy spending time with friends, listening to music, or reading something fun. Each person is different and how they “recharge their batteries” is just as unique.
I have several friends who work for a church and as result they are typically working on Sunday (when most people take their Sabbath). These friends usually have Friday off, so they make that their day of rest and refocus. It doesn’t matter when you do it, it just matters that you do it. Find time in your schedule that works best for you and permit yourself to just enjoy time away from your every day life.
Do you take a “Sabbath” day each week and if so, what do you do on that day?
Photo Credit: By lukey dargons
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Scars
This is something I recently found that I wrote back in 2001.
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Do you have any scars?
Webster’s Dictionary defines a scar as, “a marring or disfiguring mark on anything; the lasting mental or emotional effects of suffering or anguish.” Scars have been given a negative connotation in our modern times. Contrary to popular belief, there are many positive aspects of scars.
A scar can be an identifying mark. If you ever meet me, look closely above my left eyebrow. For you will see a scar, a unique mark that distinguishes me from others. John 20:27-28 gives an example of Biblical proportions. “Then He said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.’ Thomas said ‘My Lord and my God!'” It was scars that allowed Thomas to identify the Son of God.
Our male species has a unique ritual of comparing scars. As strange as this may sound, it reveals yet another good thing about scars: they create a common bond. Isaiah 53:5 “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.” We as Christians have the commonality of knowing that the scars, pain, and suffering that we cause Jesus with our sin brings us peace and healing through His sacrificial gift, Himself.
The most important thing is that scars tell a story. Mark 15:17-19 – “They put a purple robe on Him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on Him. And they began to call out to Him, ‘Hail, king of the Jews!’ Again and again they struck Him on the head with a staff and spit on Him. Falling on their knees, they paid homage to Him.” But wait, it gets better! Matthew 27:35, 39, 41, & 44 – “When they had crucified Him, they divided up His clothes by casting lots… Those who passed by hurled insults at Him, shaking their heads… In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked Him… In the same way the robbers who were crucified with Him also heaped insults on Him.” Praise God the story did not end there. Matthew 28:6 – “He is not here; He is risen, just as He said.” The ultimate scars (physical, mental, and emotional) tell the ultimate story.
I once heard someone say, “God will not search us for medals. He will look for scars,” to which one of my best friends jokingly added “He’ll probably want to start with my knees!” The more I thought about what my friend jokingly said, the more I thought he was actually right. Wouldn’t it be awesome when we meet the Lord face to face, if He sees scars and rug burns from where we have been constantly on our knees in prayer and humbling ourselves daily before Him? I long to have that kind of relationship with my Maker. How about you? May we never look at scars the same way ever again!
Photo Credit: By Lenore Edman
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Being Genuinely Genuine
How genuine are you?
Three simple words that form one common question – “How are you?” We’ve all asked it of someone and have probably had it asked of us. At least twice this week I have had someone ask me this question. Before I could get a response out of my mouth, both individuals had already left. I’m not going to lie, this bothered me. Society has taught us that it is polite to ask this question, but how would Mrs. Manners or Dear Abby want us to respond to the answer?
I found myself pondering this exact question the other day. I asked a friend how they were doing only to hear a diatribe of a response on how their life was currently falling apart at the seams. Where do you draw the line of politely listening and writing the person off as being over dramatic? I started asking myself a question – have I ever been the one who felt like their life was in shambles? Have I ever voiced this to others when they asked how I was doing?
One thing I strive for in all my relationships is to be genuine. I want others to know they can honestly count on me in their time of need. The problem with trying to be “everything to everyone” is you tend to have the life drained out of you. Is it possible to be genuine without losing yourself?
Do you really listen to someone’s response when you ask them how they are doing?
Photo Credit: By Aidan Jones
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Don’t Give Up – It May Take Time
Never forget the factor of time.
Many things can frustrate a leader. When someone you are leading does not immediately understand or pick up the skills you are trying to teach them stress can result. Time is a factor that we do not often take into consideration when we lead. Different individuals learn things at different paces. Other times you may not see evidence of your efforts until much later in life and sometimes you might not even see results in your lifetime…you just have to trust that it will eventually happen.
I went to a memorial service for my friend and former youth group volunteer Paul last weekend. Several people shared stories of how he had been a major part of who they were today. One person shared how they had asked Paul how he always knew what to say or do and Paul’s response was “I don’t know. I just do or say what I feel like I’m supposed to and everything else falls into place.” As youth, I know Paul had to have his times of frustration when he was working with us, but he never showed it. What he didn’t get to see was the results of his leadership – at this memorial service there were youth group leaders, Men’s Bible study leaders, worship leaders, and others who live their faith through whatever job they may do on a daily basis. All of this from the impact of Paul on our lives.
My single men’s small group at church has started studying the parables of Jesus. This week we studied the Sower and the Seed. The concept of the story is a farmer plants seeds in different types of soil (rocky, thorny, shallow, and good) and he discovers different results with each type of soil. One commentary mentions that the parable could be considered an illustration for the disciples as a reminder that regardless of what circumstances may come their way, they should never give up or be discouraged in their endeavors as things will happen in the proper time.
What factors do you tend forget as a leader?
Photo Credit: By lucianvenutian
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Scott Couey 